The Christian "Lifestyle"...

I've been thinking a lot, lately, about Christianity as a lifestyle. Since the Mid 80s, Christianity has leapt from the pews on Sunday morning, and on to people's shirt sleeves. Literally. So is this good or bad?

It's both. Yep. That's what being a moderate is all about, folks. Seeing both sides clearly.

In the last 20 years, Christians have become more comfortable in their Christian skin. It's like dieting. I'm currently on the Atkins diet, and for those that care - it's working. But I've noticed that their is a huge market for taking something you used to have in in your pre-diet life, and making it diet friendly. But it's always a tasteless, crappier version of that thing. Ever try carb free bread? Ever licked cardboard? The hook is, you can have those things that used to pleasure you, guilt free. The same goes for new Christianity. There isn't anything from your 'old life' that you can't replace with a 'Christian' version. Music, books, movies, even mints. The Christian culture is everywhere. Somewhere in your zipcode, there is probably a Christian Bookstore - though the book part is a bit of a misnomer as most of them sell way more than books.

The problem with Christianity as lifestyle is simply this: Lifestyles are ephemeral. I could quit Atkins tomorrow. As easily as I picked it up. All I would do is swap one set of lifestyle rules and traits, back to the other. When I used to work with a youth group, I saw hundreds of kids surrounding themselves with the Christian lifestyle, but never truly having a relationship with Christ - the scary part is - they thought they did. Now as an adult, I see a huge number of adults doing the same. That's the other problem: Lifestyles can quickly and easily become Idolized. It's a natural progression that when your life is summed up by what you listen to in your car, read wear, where you go to school, etc., your faith becomes centered around those same things. Rather than Jesus. Jesus as a lifestyle sucks. Jesus as a lifestyle would never work. Jesus as a lifestyle... would end up killing you.

As a marketer, I understand the absolute necessity of brand focus. If your brand stands for everything, then it stands for nothing. I also understand the value of owning words in people's minds. Safe Car? Volvo. The Real Thing? Coke. Internet Video? Youtube. Search? Google. The Christian lifestyle ultimately dilutes the Christian message.

So is it all just a lifestyle to you?

This is a website about death.

www.whenyouaredead.com

I would like to fight you, sir.

So the building we moved into downtown is right next to a bar. Usually this not a problem as I'm home by 6. Sometimes though, I work into the wee hours, way beyond 'last call'. On one such night recently, I went outside and overheard a very small, drunk, and belligerent 20 something producing a diatribe against Barak Obama. No biggie there. I'm undecided as of yet. I did however laugh and say "Oh, he's not that bad", as his polemic was mostly wrong, and bordered on points like "Obama punches babies in the face". His response to me was classic:

"Hell, you hate America so much, you can just get the f*** out."

I was taken aback. I've never actually heard this phrase uttered toward me. Also, the logic trail of stating Obama isn't "that bad" to his conclusion that I "hate America" dumbfounded me for a second.

Fortunately, as I stated, the guy was considerably smaller than me, not to mention three sheets to the wind drunk. I got kind of mad. I hate when people (90% of the time on the conservative right) believe they can end a political argument by telling the other person to just get out of the country. So I did what any good American would do. I offered to fight him.

Me: laughingly "I don't know... I think I want YOU to get out of MY country. In fact. I'm willing to fight you for it."

Drunk: shifts uncomfortably

Me: "Yeah..... Let's do this. I will fight you. If I lose, I will leave the country. If you lose, you leave."

He brushed past me, but that was about it. The thing is: I was dead serious. I would have fought this guy. Why? Because I love barak obama? Hardly. It' because I can't stand the attitude and swagger that comes with a statement like "If you don't like what's going on just LEAVE". Their gall to believe that there is no black and white, and if you're not their color, you're not American.

So here's my open invitation. I will fight. A real fight - perhaps in a ring. I will fight anyone who is willing to put their citizenship on the line, wants people who aren't like them to leave the country, and - most importantly - is half my size.

"Truck Nuts"

One of my least endearing, and probably most obvious, qualities is making snap judgements about people. A quick 3 minute conversation will, in my mind, tell me everything I need to know about you. In the interest of full confessional disclosure, I generally start with the idea that I will not like you, until you prove me otherwise. I know... I can be a jerk.

Sometimes though, I find my snap judgements to be completely -- 100% -- accurate. Take the case of "Truck Nuts".

Here's the scenario:

You and your family are driving along, singing your favorite worship songs and taking turns praying, when a giant beastly truck changes into your lane. That's when you see them. Giant, veiny, swinging testicles attached to the trail hitch. For a second they are mesmerizing. Swinging triumphantly in the wind, saying to the world "Here is me, my truck, and it's balls.... deal with it." The next second, you're queasy, and the kids are crying in the back seat because they could actually feel the second their innocence left them.

In this instance of snap judgement, a conversation doesn't even need to be had. If your giant truck has testicles, here is what I immediately know about you:

1.We probably couldn't be friends. Not in a mean way, but just, we probably have nothing in common. Your truck has anatomically correct genitalia; I drive a Saturn.

2. You are Republican. I'm willing to put money on this one.

3. You like Toby Keith.

4. You consider yourself "Country".

5. If they made them, you would put balls on everything.Toaster, television .. your own balls.

6. You own multiple guns. Not even just one. You probably even have one somewhere in your truck.

7. You use the phrase "Hell Yeah" a lot. Other variations could be juxtaposing everything to hell: "Colder n' Hell", "Drunker 'n hell" "Rednecker n' Hell"

8. You don't know what the word "juxtapose" means

9. You consider yourself a Christian

10. You have the uncanny ability to support the troops simply with vehicle magnets

11. You probably stopped reading this around #4, because it made you want to "kick my ass".

Though the more I think about it, if there were truck vaginas, I never would have posted this.